


Lost and Found

by 1984winstonandjulia, msarahv



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: Angst and Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-11 21:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1984winstonandjulia/pseuds/1984winstonandjulia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/msarahv/pseuds/msarahv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Nicole/Eric (Ericole) fanfic. Eric has not been able to clear his name. He's not a priest anymore. He's fled everything. But something important makes him come back to Salem and encounter the one he had lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Eric strolled around the little aerodrome. It was hot. It would always be hot here. It was surprisingly crowded. He knew most all the faces now and he suspected that most people here, had come to talk, rather than take a plane. The man at the desk was talking with a very beautiful young woman who was standing next to two children and a bunch of adults. Seeing the easy banter and the resemblance, it seemed they were his family. Eric sighed. Family. He missed them a lot. His nephews and nieces, blond and beautiful, like his sister. And his great-niece, Ari. The last time he had seen her, she was in his nephew's partner's arms. It was funny how Eric had never second-guessed his reaction to learning Will was gay. It went against what he had been taught, what he had been asked to preach, but he hadn't judged, he had just embraced it. The reason he had wanted to be a priest was because he wanted to share God's love, not condemn. Sami was updating with photos of all those kids and also gave him news of her love life. No surprise here, she didn't know what to do, who to trust, especially herself...  
  
But more than anything, he missed his mother and his heart was growing heavy, here in the over-heated building, with the throbbing of the giant ceiling fan, wanting to see her, to hug her, to know more. When he had received the news, in an e-mail because he hadn't given any phone number, he had sat on the nearest chair and cried, like a child. He had been surrounded by questions from the kind-hearted locals, the very ones he spent his time helping, that is when he wasn't on the look-out for photos outside the village, shooting protests and riots with his bare camera. He got paid for these by a prestigious magazine. It wasn't much, though, but it didn't matter. He had been living here, in the camp for almost a year, now, with the other volunteers, It was hard work and no comfort and it was just what he needed. No time left to regret or to wonder what exactly he was regretting. His heart had stopped screaming after a few months, even though, in the deep of the night, he would still see a shoulder, alabaster, blond hair, framing a delightful face and he would wake up, his heart pounding, the guilt still fresh, although unnecessary now. He was defrocked. His career was behind him and she was lost to him too. He couldn't say goodbye. If he had tried, he wouldn't have been able to leave, so the last memory he had was of her with him in the town square laughing in each other's arms. She was happy. He knew that, but it was an ineffective balm on his open wound.  
  
He hadn't dared ask Sami about her whereabouts. His sister hated her with a passion. Eric wished he could share Sami's feelings but hating wasn't who he was. He had a fleeting smile at the thought of Sami as a priest, running wild with fury during a sermon. Anyway, abstinence would have been a problem. It wasn't to him, well until... The announcement shook him off his daydreams and he prepared to embark, his mind back on his mother, prayers echoing in his skull, deals being made with above. Please, save her and I'll become a better man."  
  
Soft noises, comfortable seats, quiet. The plane glided through the night, approaching New-York. It looked so cold. The wind hit him hard, the effervescence of the city a contrast to the tranquil pace he had grown used to. Here people elbowed him without a word, in a hurry to get to their home and so was he.  
  
Hours later, here he was, standing at the Salem's bus terminal, having called Sami. She couldn't come but someone would pick him up. He hadn't asked. He ached in a numb way, wanting nothing more than a cup of tea, or even alcohol, something to reheat his bones. Car's lights traced a beam in the dark and the window opened:  
  
\- Climb in, Eric! Nice to see you again!  
  
\- Oh, hello Sonny, likewise!  
  
He was sincere. It was good to be greeted by someone he wasn't related to. Of course, Sonny was with Will, so he was extended family. But he had a solid countenance that no Brady shared. Even Marlena had passions running under her skin. And now something was. Maybe.  
  
Sonny talked about simple things during the ride. How his daughter had learned how to walk. How the war on where Thanksgiving dinner would be held had finally ended and Caroline had won, saying that there were so many of them now, only the Pub could accommodate it. How Will was acing his exams, his first publications being appreciated. Eric smiled at their simple, happy life. They deserved every minute of it. They had gone enough hardship to last them a lifetime. He asked to see a picture. Sonny gave him a smile that showed he wasn't duped. But he took out his wallet and showed the photo. Arianna was fidgeting and both men were looking adoringly at her. Gabi, Ari's mother wasn't there. Maybe she had taken the picture. Just before Eric exited the warmth of the car interior, Sonny put his hand on his arm:  
  
\- She'll be alright. I'm sure of it. She'll be glad to see you.  
  
\- Thank you, Sonny. How is Will coping?  
  
\- It's hard on him. She's like his second mother. But we're hopeful."  
  
Now, Sonny could have been a priest. Of course without acting on the being-gay-thing or the being-madly-in-love-with-Will thing. Apparently he had waited a long time to confess his feelings, but he hadn't given up. He hadn't refused himself the right to be happy. Eric had and now it was too late.  
  
He wanted to go the hospital right away, hold her hand, but he wasn't allowed.  
  
\- She's resting. Visiting hours are over.  
  
\- And when has that ever stopped you little sister?  
  
\- When my mother's health is at risk, I happen to follow the rules, little brother, and so will you!  
  
So his twin had sent him to bed. The same Sami who was always fighting bedtime as a child, sneaking in the night, telling him he'd better keep quiet about it. Now a mother. And here he was, a stranger to Salem, worry eating his stomach, and somewhere, a chore of self-centeredness was making him pray that he would not run into her. That she wouldn't be living here anymore. Maybe if he learned that she was married and had moved far away, he could move on? Maybe.


	2. Chapter 2

His mother looked so small in that small bed. He sat, feeling numb. He was unable to say any of the words he had murmured, as a priest, to sorrowful families seeking hope, or any of those she had said, as a shrink. Her face had changed. She looked so happy to see him. He felt the guilt for the first time. He had fled one woman but had left another.  
  
\- Hi, mom.  
  
\- Hi, Eric, honey, I'm so glad to see you.  
  
\- Is there any news? Do they know what you have?"  
  
She shook her head feebly and it broke his heart.  
  
\- They've done so many tests. It's a good think I don't do drugs, I wouldn't find any available vein, now."  
  
She shouldn't have said that. Laughing broke his last restraints. He didn't want her to see his tears, she needed him to be strong, not worry about him, but even sick, she was still his mother, and she leaned and brushed them away.  
  
\- I'll stay, mom, as long as possible.  
  
\- You know you don't have to?  
  
He nodded  
  
\- I want to.  
  
So, here he was, asking for a job. He wanted to be able to sustain himself here as long as his she needed him. Maybe he could make up for lost time. Besides, he needed to find a place, because staying with Sami wasn't possible, not for more than a few nights. Even though she offered, he knew it wouldn't work. He had a good resume, now. There was no prestigious newspaper in Salem, but the one there was would do. He wasn't writing, just taking pictures, so he would earn his living, quietly, keeping his heart focus on his mother's recovery. The word was dancing in everyone's head. Cancer. The doctors really didn't know.  
  
He didn't have to talk much and it was a relief. He had been honest about his reasons for the job and the woman interviewing him had betrayed a touch of compassion, in the depth of her eyes.  
  
\- I know who you are, of course. The… scandal is only a year-old. But I don't see why you wouldn't be an adequate replacement. Our main photographer is getting married and left for Detroit. Your work speaks for itself. I'm not sure you'll be satisfied by the mundane nature of the assignments...  
  
\- I'll take it. I'm a professional. And it will be agreeable to do light work for a while.  
  
He followed the assistant along the hallways, being told names he would have to remember, when his head was filled with sorrow and his body was strung. As he turned to the hallway, his camera fell. He bent down to grab it and check it wasn't damaged and that's when he heard a definitely urban-toned whisper behind him, a little too loud.  
  
\- Oh, that's the new hire? He looks hot as hell. I seem to remember I need photos for my next article..."  
  
The voice was followed by a musical laugh.  
  
He closed his eyes and tried walking away as if he hadn't heard, hoping she wouldn't realize, but the assistant stopped him.  
  
\- Oh, you must meet Ms. Walker! She's one of our star journalists. You'll be sure to work with her at some point."  
  
He met her eyes. It was funny, after all this time, he still remembered them perfectly and yet, it was a shock. A blue so pale and yet so bright, an arctic light, that had warmed him. Now, he was paralyzed. The smile that he loved so much had turned into an embarrassed smirk. She was gracefully poised, her hand on a desk, her elbow gracefully bent, her body almost lax. Still the model, somehow.  
  
\- We've already met, Gabriel, thanks.  
  
She spoke slowly, with a cool that was hard to bear. He didn't answer. He didn't even know if he could ever talk again. His muscles were failing him, breaking down one by one.  
  
She did, though and it was less passionate than he would have dared... or hoped.  
  
\- I'm sure Mr. Brady will be a useful addition to the staff, we've worked together in the past. He's very talented. It's a good thing, I am very demanding on quality.  
  
He looked down and gulped. His chest was pounding, his heartbeat was all over the place. He did find out how to talk to mumble some excuse to his guide and go outside to get some air. He didn't have room for all this. His mind was devoted to Marlena. Should he quit? He wouldn't find any other job in Salem and going to Chicago would be losing precious time commuting.  
  
He went back inside when the trembling in his hands had subsided. She was still there, this time, sitting at her computer, typing furiously away. He couldn't help passing in front of her desk but she didn't react. Her hair was longer than the last time he had seen her. Her dress was longer too, and although you could never call what she wore 'modest', it was tamed down. She looked more like a business woman now. In his eyes, of course, she was also beautiful and warm, supportive and loving, as she had been when the roles were reversed and she was the one at the bottom of the ladder, but none of that showed. There could have been a glass between him and her at all times and it would feel the same.  
  
He was given a cubicle, all bland, with a computer and a stylish chair, of the kind that was as uncomfortable as it was flashy.  
  
\- Sorry, it's a small space, but as a photographer; your main work won't take place here. You've been given a professional e-mail, I've noted the password on this paper. You can personalize as much as you want of course, as long as it's not offensive."  
  
He had a small derogative smile  
  
\- I used to be a priest. I think my definition of offensive is far beyond yours.  
  
He opened his session and logged in to choose a new password. There were already a few mails, waiting for him. Some about company policies, some about payment procedures and one for his first assignment. He opened it and flinched. The first word his eyes had caught were the name of the journalist who requested him. Nicole Walker.


	3. Chapter 3

Luckily for him, the assignment was for the next day and Nicole left soon after. He read the company policies and the other official emails but his brain could hardly process anything. He printed them and took the folder with him. He went in search of the photography equipment and located a closet with umbrellas and lightning devices. As he exited it, he bumped into the assistant again, who said:  
  
\- I see you're already preparing yourself. Don't worry you won't have an assignment at the moment. Maybe tomorrow you'll get an email.  
  
\- Actually, I already did.  
  
\- Really? Oh, well, good for you. I still have paper for you to sign, if you will follow you, then I think you'll be free for the rest of the day. The morning staff meeting is at 8 am every day. Are you living far?  
  
\- Well I'm staying with my sister for the moment. Do you need an address now?  
  
\- We do, just make sure to let us know any changes. Plus we need to have a bank account."  
  
It was all becoming so complicated so fast. He left as soon as he could and headed to Sami's apartment. He opened the door and was almost knocked off his feet by a small giggling projectile, aimed at his knees, chased by other giggling ones. The children all stopped, out of breath when they saw him. He knelt to the toddler who was looking at him with big blue eyes, her mouth gaping.  
  
\- Hello Arianna. I'm your uncle Eric.  
  
\- Aren't you her great-uncle, rather?  
  
\- Technically yes, Allie, thank you for making me feel very old all of a sudden.  
  
\- Well, you are old, as much as Mommy, since you're twins."  
  
Eric laughed.  
  
\- I strongly suggest you don't tell my sister that, sweetie.  
  
\- Oh, Johnny did, this summer. She didn't talk to him for two days."  
  
This was hard for such a little kid as Johnny but not surprising. Arianna was still in awe until she heard a voice and turned her head sharply.  
  
\- Hey, baby girl? Where have you gone?"  
  
She was snapped out of her mute state and babbled happily.  
  
\- Papa, papa, papa!" Sure enough, Sonny appeared at a doorway and opened his arms. Arianna ran into them and he tossed her in the air while she shrieked with pleasure.  
  
"Hi, Eric, nice to see you again. Sami told me you had a job interview. Did it go well?  
  
\- It did, thanks. I'll be working for the local newspaper.  
  
\- Oh, good, so you won't have to commute.  
  
\- True but I need to find a place on my own.  
  
\- Oh, I could help you with that."  
  
Eric turned when he heard the half-whispered words and smiled at his nephew. Will had lines under his eyes and looked worried, way more than Sonny. Eric knew how much Marlena meant to him and the fear invaded his stomach once again after having left for a while thanks to the cute kids and their exuberant ways. Arianna wriggled in her Papa's embrace and flung her arms to Will who gladly accepted her. He cuddled her then added:  
  
\- I mean I don't have classes at the moment and Sonny has asked for special time with his daughter. We can visit grandma together and then go apartment hunting."  
  
Eric accepted, happy to have a companion. He remembered the first time he had seen him after his coming-out, defensive and yet willing to be accepted and loved. Eric had responded to it and now Will was very comfortable in his presence.  
  
Sami joined them and Sonny took his leave, taking a mountain of baby stuff in his arms, and his daughter somewhere. They helped him load his car, then Will took Eric in his own and drove to the hospital. They talked a little on the way, Eric trying not to notice the tears in Will's eyelids as he expressed his hopes and fears.  
  
\- My two favorite men in the world! I am spoiled!  
  
\- Thanks, grandma. I'm sorry I didn't bring Ari, but Sonny said she's too little to be in the hospital so much.  
  
\- Oh, he's right Will, I would have told you the same thing, but she hasn't replaced you in my heart, you know. I have room for all my family." she added, glancing at her son. Eric came and sat by her, unable to talk this time. She looked even more tired than the previous day and he didn't like it.  
  
As they were about to leave they crossed a group of doctors in a heated discussion, about baseball it seemed. One of them turned to Will:  
  
\- Oh, Mr Horton, how did you find your grandmother?  
  
\- A little better, thanks. You still don't have results?  
  
\- Unfortunately, no. Her condition is turning hard to diagnose but we're working on it."  
  
The doctor next to him nodded and noted:  
  
\- You can trust him, Will, Jason is very good in his field. Oh, hello Eric, I hadn't seen you here. Glad we meet again, although in very sad circumstances."  
  
Eric tried. He really did, but he was immediately struck by the last image he saw of Daniel before he left, with Nicole in his arms. Daniel looked at him with utmost compassion, without a hint of malice or gloating, yet Eric felt anger boiling in him. Not at Daniel himself, he realized. But at how his own life was made of failures and he had nothing left while Daniel was here, successful in his work, and for once in his love life. He deserved it but even Eric couldn't be that objective. He shook his rival's hand and replied:  
  
\- Nice to see you Daniel. Will and I are going apartment-hunting.  
  
\- Oh, sure, good luck with that. You're staying here long, then?  
  
\- Yes, I found a job. At the newspaper.  
  
\- In Salem?"  
  
There was something in his tone but Eric didn't know what. He nodded and followed Will to the elevator. Daniel's stare on him was pensive.  
  
They were lucky, Will had made a few phone calls and some friends had talked about a place that was just about to be vacated. It was furnished which was perfect and close enough to the hospital. They managed to secure a meeting to sign the lease for the next day.  
  
\- Thanks for your help Will, can I invite you to the Brady Pub?" Will was reading a text on his cell and shook his head, with an apologetic smile.  
  
\- Sorry, Eric, but my fiancé is missing me.  
  
\- Oh, congratulations, I didn't know.  
  
\- Well, it won't be performed at the church, obviously, but if you're still here, I would love you to be there. You could be the official photographer.  
  
\- I wouldn't miss this for the world. Just don't seat me next to Sami if you don't want us to ruin your wedding." Will laughed.  
  
\- Mom is capable of ruining anything, true, but you wouldn't ruin any..." He stopped dead. Bad memories ran before Eric's eyes. The shame he had managed to forget, the public humiliation. Will looked contrite so Eric patted his shoulder.  
  
\- I wouldn't want Sonny to miss you any minute more, or your little girl. I'll go say hello to grandma Caroline on my own."  
  
He was absent-mindedly eating his clam chowder, listening to his grandmother who was talking in a loop, repeating herself a lot, which was about the only sign for her condition, when she looked up and smiled at some customers coming in. He turned and met her eyes first, then Daniel's.  
  
Only Caroline seemed unperturbed. They all looked away and the couple sat in a remote corner, as far away from him as possible. He looked back at his plate, focusing on not letting his spoon fall in it. He continued answering gently to the old lady he was so fond of and whose voice was reassuring and affectionate, bringing up childhood memories. He was glad she could have met so many of her grandchildren before she couldn't recognize them anymore.  
  
He took his coat and opened the front door when he saw Nicole approach Caroline and talk with her. He didn't hear her words but she was smiling and even laughing a little. He stood near the coat-rack, lost in his contemplation of her kindness. He couldn't be angry at her. He could only suffer.


	4. Chapter 4

He went to work early, the next day. He wanted to compose himself. He put a photo of Marlena holding him as a little boy on the desk and his favorite photo of Africa, of the friends he had made there cooking and talking. He was missing the simple manners he had gotten used to. People in Salem were welcoming but they had not forgotten the accusations, none of them. They tiptoed around them, giving him the benefit of the doubt, but treating him differently. It was so strange. He had seen people die in front of his eyes, yet he had problems with just that. He shook his head, manned up and opened his computer. There was a new email, asking him to come directly to the hospital. He gulped. The assignment was about a doctor. God was challenging him, asking him to go back to this place that held his grown man's little heart, maybe a few feet from where his mother lied, waiting for a verdict that seemed never to come.  
  
Of course, if he searched his feelings, the root of all these insecurities popping up was the fact that in less than an hour, he would be alongside her. In the same building as Daniel, to top it all. He examined his heart, lectured himself and prepared with care, heading for the hospital early. He didn't see the point in buying a car and the walk was welcome.  
  
He walked directly to his mother's room. In a twisted way, it helped. She looked rested and peaceful, just very very thin. He prayed for her every night, asking that she would be spared, that she wouldn't suffer. He kissed her forehead and promised to come back later in the day.  
  
As he went to the nurse desk, he had a vision. A very young-looking Nicole was standing there, looking at him with love in her eyes. She was wearing one of these dresses she was modeling for, looking gorgeous but also full of life and hope. He took a few steps and stopped, feeling like a young innocent man again, with his future ahead of him with this woman that he loved and who loved him back, all these years ago. For a brief moment, he was free, he was happy.  
  
Then reality came back. Nicole was there but was looking down at her cell. Her head snapped back up, with a little bit of the sweet memories still playing, he thought he could still read some feelings in her eyes. He shook himself and chose as neutral an approach as he could:  
  
\- Hello Nicole." She pursed her lips. Then she held out her hand. It would have been funny if it wasn't so heartbreaking. He shook it, feeling the desire travel through his body, insensible to anything his brain had settled with. She would always create that reaction in him, he just had to deal with it. She had moved on, looking slightly annoyed and briskly turning away from him.  
  
\- OK, we've got a lot to do. I'll need a photo of Rori and plenty shots of the hospital while I interview her...  
  
\- Who's Rori?  
  
She stopped and looked at him, then sighed.  
  
\- I guess you don't know the story. Doctor Rori Hill is being accused of malpractice. She gave a prescription to a patient who suffered from a heart condition without taking that into account and he died yesterday. What's even worse, he was a witness in an embezzlement case so now the charges may not stick.  
  
He nodded and followed her, preferring not to ask how she knew the woman personally. If she worked with Daniel, it made sense. She was so suited for this world, of prestigious accomplishment and social approval. She needed that. That was the one thing, besides feelings, faithfulness and dreams, that he could never offer her.  
  
The doctor was lovely, or she would have been, if she hadn't looked so stressed and down. Eric's heart went to her. He had no idea if she was innocent or just human in her mistake, but he felt the pull to offer comfort. It wasn't his place any more, so he just offered a smile. Nicole was talking with intensity and professional detachment but he could feel she wanted to defend her. It was one of these moment she ceased to be a perfect-looking doll and became a passionate human instead, forgetting her stance and poise, focused on the other person's need. He wished he could take a picture now, but she would not allow it, he knew.  
  
He walked out and met the nurse who had taken care of the patient. Her name-tag read Julia and she seemed to recognize him. He braced himself for awkwardness but he was wrong  
  
\- Oh, you're Doctor Evan's son. She talks about you all the time. I change wards a lot, but she's one of my favorite patients. You have the same kind eyes." He smiled gratefully, stupidly relieved to have at least one interaction with someone who only saw him as his mother's son. She was quite reserved about the case and Eric didn't insist. She sat at the desk and he took a few picture for the article. Then he wandered about, looking for inspiration.  
  
Nicole called him again, this time to speak to the chief of medicine, his aunt, Kayla. She grinned at him and hugged him, then collected herself and answered Nicole's question. She seemed sure of the doctor's guilt, even though she was sorry it happened. He sympathized with her work ethics. It was difficult to pick a side here. Lives were at stakes but who could be perfect 24/7? The hospital was a demanding job. He heard Nicole develop this very idea while he was thinking it and smiled.  
  
She finally released him and he said he would send the photos in the evening after editing them. She nodded and left quickly. He joined his mother for another chat before going to the renting agency and his new apartment. Then he would look at his photos, having to edit and delete some, which would mean looking at Nicole's face again and again. It was going to be a long day, but not all of it had been bad. He was going to manage working with her.


	5. Chapter 5

He went to the office early the next day. It had been a hard night to go through. He had a nightmare when he entered the door to a hospital room and found Nicole and Daniel kissing. In the dream he couldn't move his legs and go out and he turned to the bed and saw his mother white as wax with her eyes closed. Then Dan said "I'm sorry Eric, she's gone but it's better that way, I need that room for Nicole and I. Leave us some privacy" and had pushed him out, slamming the door behind him. Eric had woken up sweating and had stayed awake after that, so he was ready with the pictures, to give to Nicole and move on to a next job.  
  
He saw the assistant, Gabriel, first and started chatting with him  
  
\- So, Eric, how did it go? Nicole is very difficult when it comes to getting good photos for her articles.  
  
\- I don't know, I'm about to print them and hand them to her.  
  
\- Well, since she asked for you specifically, I guess she knows your worth.  
  
\- She did?  
  
\- Yep. So here's the code to the printing room. If she okays them, we'll need the USB key with the digital version.  
  
He left to talk to someone else and Eric was left wondering.  
  
Of course, she had modeled for him in the past and she might have seen his latest photos in the big newspapers, so she must have decided he would do a good job. She must be really have fully moved on from him to be that objective. He got the photos ready and started looking at his mails when he got a call. He picked up the receiver on his desk and heard  
  
\- Eric, where are the photos you promised me?  
  
\- Oh, hello Nicole. They're all ready, when are you coming in?  
  
\- At the office? I'm not, I have other interviews to do at the hospital. You'd better join me quickly.  
  
She had sound impatient and frustrated. The case seemed to really get to her.  
  
Eric hurried, wishing he had a car or a cab budget, then he shook his head. It wasn't that far, it would have been a waste of gas. He didn't go to his mother's room, though, even though the nightmare was weighing on him. If anything had happened, the hospital staff would tell him. He waved at the nurse he had met the day before and she smiled at him, then returned to her filing.  
  
He had no idea where Nicole was in the building. He asked around the people who didn't seem too busy but nobody knew and really cared. Eric was aware the scandal wasn't doing the hospital any good and they must resent the journalists butting in. He reached the cafeteria and saw Daniel at a table.  
  
Here was someone who could help him find her, but he was so averse to speak to him that he looked around, trying to spot her instead. That's when he noticed Daniel wasn't alone. Doctor Hill was seated at the same table, looking distressed. Eric had walked near enough the table to overhear:  
  
\- What if I'm forbidden to practice medicine? This job is all my life.  
  
\- I know how distressing the thought can be, but as long as there is hope you should refrain from the thoughts."  
  
She looked at him with angry eyes:  
  
\- How would you know?"  
  
Daniel smiled.  
  
\- My hand was shaking so much, I was very near making fatal mistakes while operating. But I was cured. Luck happens. Try and be positive."  
  
He looked up and saw Eric. He grinned at him  
  
\- My friend Eric will tell you it's all in God's hands anyway, I'm sure. Wouldn't you, Eric?"  
  
Eric flinched at the word "friend". Daniel had always been nice to him. He hadn't stolen his woman as much as stepped up when Eric couldn't. He smiled too and asked if he knew where Nicole was. It was Rori who answered.  
  
\- She told me she was meeting with the head nurse. That's on the third floor.  
  
Eric thanked her and gave her one of his most efficient "priest" looks, the one he gave the most desperate parishioners. She looked a little better now and Daniel left her to walk with Eric to the office in question.  
  
\- Look who I found, Nicole."  
  
She turned with a smile at hearing Dan's voice but when she saw Eric, she drew back her head a little. She might have ask him, well demanded he be there, but she didn't seem to feel comfortable with him. He felt horribly sad and sat, waiting for her to finish her interview.  
  
Nicole didn't look at him but asked  
  
\- Eric will take a picture of you ma'am, if you don't mind.  
  
She went out in the hallway. Eric took the pictures and joined her. She was drinking coffee and looking at her watch.  
  
\- You took your time to be here.  
  
He didn't explain. There was no need. He just handed her the photos from the day before. She looked at them with attention. He saw her countenance change. She handed them back  
  
\- They're perfect, of course. I wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
He heard the crack in her voice. He sighed and asked as softly as he could  
  
\- This case is getting to you, isn't it?  
  
She sighed too and looked down. She mumbled  
  
\- I met her during a party Dan threw. We hit it off, she's really a sweet person. I hate what is happening to her. I wish I could prove it's all false.  
  
\- She looks sweet, I agree. I'll send prayer for her. And for you to be strong through this pain.  
  
She looked up. Her eyes were moist and sparkling.  
  
\- One cannot take the priest out of you, hey, Eric? Thanks though."  
  
And without warning she was hugging him. His heart almost stopped. She was so soft and firm and her perfume climbed in his nose, making his head turn.  
  
They stopped abruptly, as if they had to be reminded that they shouldn't feel close. This time it was Eric who looked away. Nicole started walking.  
  
\- Long day ahead. . Come on Eric don't dawdle!  
  
He smiled and shook his head. A minute of doubt was all she would ever show. He knew how insecure she could be but she would never show it. It was a tribute to their past relationship that she had opened to him like that. He tagged along, breathing through the lingering smell she left in her trail.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Nicole's POV and was wonderfully written by 1984Winstons. She's my mind-reader and I thank her again for her encouragements and support.

Nicole turned away from Eric to dispose of her coffee. Her hands were actually shaking. It was either too much coffee or too much Eric.  
  
"Eric, could you please get some photos of the hospital building? Please be sure to get the sign, OK?" Nicole kept her eyes on the paper coffee cup in the trash can until she heard Eric mobilize as evidenced by the tap of his shoes on the tiled hospital floor.  
  
Then, Nicole watched as the elevator doors closed on Eric's pensive face. If she was being honest with herself, Eric's perfect face. The only face that mattered.  
  
Nicole was still in shock. She had thought that nothing could compare to the pain she felt when Eric left her life completely. After he was defrocked, he left. As far as he possibly could go and the wound was acute and slow to heal. In fact, it hadn't healed, and now it was worse. It was freshly cut, and the salt was added. This was so much worse. Eric being half-way around was hard, but Eric . . . here . . . everywhere. Eric's neck inches from her mouth . . . Eric's eyes on hers. Eric's competence, supporting her. That was simply not bearable and so she had sent him away. He would be back.  
  
Nicole distracted herself by talking to the nurses and the techs surrounding the nurse's station. Julia caught her eye and she approached the welcoming face.  
  
"Nicole, I am glad you are here." Julia said with a warm smile pulling her in.  
  
"Julia, right? Good to see you too, but I think you may be the only one who is glad I am here." Nicole rolled her eyes to emphasize the point.  
  
"No, you are wrong there. I am not the only one that is glad you are here. On of the patients has been asking for you actually. She made me promise to request a visit as soon as you next arrived." Julia raised her eyebrows and punctuated it with a smile.  
  
"Really?" Nicole asked with sincere curiosity.  
  
"Yes, really. Doctor Evans would like to see you. Oh, and please, go easy on her. She had a rough night." Julia said with an exaggerated gesture toward the room.  
  
Nicole very slowly marched to her fate and then she stopped. She shifted her weight from side to side and looked at the clock as she stood outside the door of the hospital room. The nurse had said that Marlena Evans wanted to see her, but she was still having trouble believing that. Nicole and Marlena had a long history and not a pretty one, not worth repeating.  
  
Nicole walked briskly to the water fountain, took a drink and a big breath and then entered the hospital room.  
  
"Nicole, you came," Marlena's weak voice startled Nicole. She was so strong and confident in the past, intimidating actually. Nicole was thrown off. She didn't enter. She had only opened the door part of the way and she stayed their perched safely behind it. She watched as Marlena closed her eyes with deep breaths, gathering strength. "Nicole, please come in. I want to see you . . . talk to you."  
  
So maybe it was real, Nicole thought as she tentatively entered the hospital room closing the door behind her.  
  
Nicole stood still self-consciously before understanding that she should check on Marlena.  
  
She approached the be cautiously trained by years of avoiding each other. "Marlena, you look good. How do you feel?" Nicole schooled her features into sweet concern to replace the outright panic she felt.  
  
"I'm feeling ok, probably better than I look. Sit please." Marlena said as she weakly gestured to the chair by the bed.  
  
As soon as Nicole was seated in the chair she felt trapped.  
  
"That's better, so have you seen Eric now that he is back?"  
  
And there it was . . . Nicole thought . . . their favorite topic. She was trapped. She had walked right into it like a mouse after cheese.  
  
"Well, yes. You know he is working at the paper, so we had to see each other," and the unspoken message was "Not my fault, you overprotective lioness!"  
  
"Yes, of course. You will probably even work on the same story some times. Well, I am glad."  
  
"What?" Nicole exclaimed with the genuine shock seeping into her voice.  
  
"I am glad, Nicole. You don't believe me?"  
  
"Of course I don't believe you. You've spent decades separating us." Nicole answered as she disciplined herself to stay in the chair.  
  
"Yes, I suppose that is the price I pay for the past." Marlena answered wistfully. "It is true, I haven't liked you and I have tried to keep you away from Eric. I thought he deserved more. I still do, but that hasn't worked out for him."  
  
"Right, right, you really don't need to tell me this again. After 100 times, the message sinks in." Nicole replied sarcastically.  
  
"You are right," Marlena continues. "I don't need to tell you and I didn't mean to say that again. Can I blame it on the medication or my weakened mental state?"  
  
"As you wish," Nicole says distancing herself from the familiar disdain.  
  
"Nicole, I mean it. I am glad. I want Eric to see you to spend time with you. He is lonely and sad and I must admit that no one can cheer him like you." Marlena said with soft pleading eyes.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, when he hears your name, I see that same brightness in his eyes even though it is clouded slightly."  
  
"Is there a hidden camera here?" Nicole smirked.  
  
"No, Nicole. It is just you and me. I am not sure how much time I have . . . "  
  
Nicole interrupts, "Don't say that, please . . . "  
  
"OK, I won't but it is still time that we put the past behind us. I want you to know that I hope you see Eric if you want, as much as you want. You make him happy and that is all I ever wanted."  
  
Nicole studied Marlena for signs of insincerity which were lacking. So, she forgave as she always does. She rose from the share and placed her hand over Marlena's avoiding the IV bandage.  
  
"Thank you and be well." Nicole said and then left the room.  
  
The coffee was long gone, but she was still shaky and it only got worse as she noticed Eric approaching her. Once again, he altered her center of gravity.  
  
"Eric!" Nicole exclaimed her voice far too high. The insincerity was sour in her mouth, but as he approached it was erased, replaced with his special brand of sweetness.  
  
"Nicole, do you want to see the shots? Or I could email them of course, after we are done. Whatever you like." Eric said as his eyes fell to the camera in his hands.  
  
"Yes, email them later. That would be good. I will be working later." Nicole replied softly as she worked to discipline herself.  
  
"OK, sounds good. So what now? What is up next for us?" Eric asked with his lingering eyes asking so much more.  
  
"You know what? It's almost 5:00. Happy hour, right? I think we have enough for today. Let's go for a drink? Please?" Nicole stuttered at the end but tried to smooth it as she waited for his answer.


	7. Chapter 7

They had stopped to get coffee at the vending-machine. Nicole was collected, but he sensed a little fragility, here and there, in the way her hands shook. He didn't point it out and waited for her instructions.  
  
\- Eric, could you please get some photos of the hospital building? Please be sure to get the sign, OK?"  
  
He hadn't expected that. It felt as if she was getting rid of him. Maybe she was planning to go meet Dan for a while. He would certainly make her feel better. On the other hand, she could also have decided to do something a little illegal and didn't want witnesses, especially an ex-priest. He wouldn't put it past her. And it was true, he had strict ideals.  
  
He stepped in the elevator, feeling Nicole's eyes on him, as if she was making sure he was going. He appreciated the attention even if it was for all the wrong reasons.  
  
So, he took his time, waiting for the light to be just right and trying plenty angles to show the building. When he couldn't think of anything else, he walked back, slowly, in and looked around. He didn't want to go on a chase like the other day. They were professionals and the hospital wasn't that big, he would find her at some point. He didn't like the idea of opening a door to find her in Dan's arms anyway.  
  
He went to his mother's room. She was lonely during the day, most visitors turning up after work hours. She was the reason he was back in Salem, he wanted to make the most of it. He didn't knock, rather opening the door slightly to check she wasn't going through medical care by a nurse or a doctor.  
  
There was someone seated next to her, but with a designer dress. His mother's tone was a little strained but they didn't seem to be arguing.  
  
\- ...Nicole, you don't believe me?  
  
\- Of course I don't believe you. You've spent decades separating us.  
  
\- Yes, I suppose that is the price I pay for the past. It is true, I haven't liked you and I have tried to keep you away from Eric. I thought he deserved more. I still do, but that hasn't worked out for him.  
  
\- Right, right, you really don't need to tell me this again. After 100 times, the message sinks in."  
  
Eric couldn't move at first, but he soon shook himself and closed the door. Eavesdropping wasn't him and anyway the bitterness he had heard in this short conversation was really hard to bear. He loved his mother and it was true that his relationship with Nicole hadn't been a smooth one, but he still felt Marlena was in the wrong. If Nicole had wanted him, now, he would give it a try, he knew that. It was all a moot point of course and at least both women were getting closure, so it was a positive move for them. As for him, he had to continue being an adult and grind his teeth.  
  
He went in search of the nice nurse, to ask her about his mother's health this morning. She didn't have much time for him but assured him that she was doing OK, even though she was quite tired. He didn't like that. He wanted the hospital to be cleared of all the other patients so that the whole team would focus on her and find what was wrong faster, before it was too late...  
  
He found the restrooms, and when he left the stall, he stopped a little too long at the sink, splashing water on his face to hide the tears. How he would go through the rest of this day, he wasn't sure.  
  
Nicole wasn't helping, striking, once again, a stunning pose that raised other emotions in him, on top the other ones. He needed a drink. Which is exactly what she offered, and he couldn't help the shy smile that accompanied his accepting it.  
  
Once at the bar, they sat on the stools, a few inches from each other and yet as far away as possible as each one was lost in his own thought. Finally, after a few glasses, they found innocuous topics, filling the air, lightening it up superficially. Eric had had the occasional glass in Africa, but he was still easily affected by the alcohol. It helped a little and although the rational part of his brain argued that it was not the solution, he reveled in the temporary relief. And he liked the way the drinks were making Nicole's eyes soften and shine, so he kept drinking and so did she.  
  
Eric could feel the warmth of her body inches from his own and with his boundaries relaxed, he couldn't help leaning into the warmth and getting a better view of her soft pink lips and her eyes. Those crystal eyes weren't avoiding him now. They were piercing him and the pain was perfect. He wanted it and that drew his lips to hers.  
  
They started kissing dreamily, softly. It had been more than a decade since they had last done it but his lips remembered hers, which made sense, as she was the last woman he had had in his life that way. After that, he had trained as a priest. When he had been defrocked, he had found himself free to look at other women, but he was still feeling too much of a priest still, to want nothing less than a meaningful relationship, and as that hadn't happened, he had focused on his work and his new friends.  
  
That thought put him out of his loosened state and he pulled his head back. That was wrong. Nicole was with someone. He felt the guilt wash through him, taking away all the little pleasure he had finally felt and leaving him drained and pained. He looked up at Nicole's face, finding her eyes. They looked tortured and it was his fault.


End file.
